Jewel Shuping purposefully blinded herself with drain cleaner because she had yearned to be blind since she was six years old.

She suffers from Body Integrity Identity Disorder or BIID, which is usually associated with believing that one’s limbs doesn’t belong to one’s self and manifests in a desire to lose that limb.

“I really feel this is the way I was supposed to be born, that I should have been blind from birth,” the 30-year-old Shuping said.

Shuping’s case is made even stranger by the fact that she worked with a psychiatrist to blind herself, presumably under the assumption that it was a treatment.

Even though she doesn’t regret her decision, in fact now saying that she’s never been happier, Shuping is trying to create awareness of BIID so that people don’t take the route she did.

“Don’t go blind the way I did. I know there is a need, but perhaps someday there will be treatment for it,” Shuping said. “People with BIID get trains to run over their legs, freeze dry their legs or fall off cliffs to try to paralyze themselves.

“It’s very dangerous. And they need professional help.”