Hey, give the lady a break, okay? She’s riding her bike to work today instead of driving. She’ll work on the facial hair after she fits into that dress she bought for her high school reunion. One self-improvement battle at a time.
You have to admire the ingenuity here. I had no idea that you could make an entire business-casual ensemble using a single variety pack of Fruit Roll-Ups.
You knew that when your hipster friend Shireee (she insists on the third e) dragged you to some warehouse in a bad neighborhood for an “art opening slash spoken word performance slash flan tasting,” that it was going to be weird, but not THIS weird.