Submitted by: Unknown Via: Joanne Casey
Who has two thumbs and is drinking bottom shelf champagne? This guy! Who maybe has four thumb-like… uhh… paw… things and isn’t drinkin’ s**t? This pooch!
“Listen, I’m just really concerned with the rising cost of healthcare.” “You know what else is rising?” “Yes! The amount of disinformation spread to you by global pharmaceutical conglomerates!” “…Try OK Cupid.”
Over the top is how it’s done!
The weedwackers who utilize twine, and the mowers who prose cut the offenders. These are their stories. DUN DUN!
Think you’re gonna score with a hot chick tonight? Well good luck working your mediocre pick up game over the deafeningly loud music!
I know you’re jealous of my stroller.
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