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legend says that once he was in the ground, worms wouldn't touch him because they don't eat junk food

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Transcript between Jake Evans and 911 dispatch operator

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My girlfriend and I just got a puppy. And before he goes in another room he gives me these eyes to ask if its okay. Meet Ruffles

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Mom burst into my room yelling at me for leaving an empty condom box in the kitchen

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So I heard my mom screaming about a spider in her room. Simply terrifying.

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Real cloud in the middle of the room.

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Why Santa is so happy

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I want this room

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No Self Control in this room.

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Can't complain when this is in your news feed

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