Submitted by: Kelli
Oh. Hello, there. Looks like you’ve found my. . . lair, as I like to call it. I was just about to get out of this coat and tie so I could chase down and kill a gazelle. And by “chase down and kill a gazelle,” I mean “enjoy a wine cooler.” You’re. . . down with that, as the kids would say, right? Yes? Oh good. Here, have a Zima.
Submitted by: Megan
Yes, thumbs-up. Now you can get turned down by twice as many women every night.
Submitted by: Kelly
We laugh now, but she’ll be the one laughing when “Sexy Hermit Crab” is the in look this fall. I just hope that some other trends have gone by the wayside by then to make room for this one. Trends like walking.
Submitted by: Anon
In the world of soccer, couldn’t this count as an unfair advantage? I mean, don’t you get a little extra traction on your header with these? Well, it’s actually worse than you think. These tiny antennas concentrate his mental powers and let him control the ball with his mind. You’re not looking at a snapshot—this is film.
Submitted by: John
I can’t say anything bad about this kid, because I’m pretty sure he’s the one who helped me install Windows 3.1 on my IBM clone back in 1992. Sure, I had to listen to him talk about DOOM cheat codes the whole time, but if it weren’t for him, I never would have had Minesweeper. Or SkiFree!
Submitted by: Anon
Oh look, this again. I still don’t understand it. Hmm, maybe if…
No…something’s still not right.
Ah. Much better.
Submitted by: Anon
This is a leaked promotional shot from Lou Ferrigno’s upcoming teen comedy, 17 Again, Again: 17 Squared, where he plays the girl who sat next to you in sixth-grade math and snapped her gum a lot. Initially, the director (Michael Bay) didn’t even want to consider him for the role, but Lou really killed it at the audition. The man wields a protractor and Lisa Frank notebook pretty convincingly.