Today’s LOLMart Shirt is available to purchase THROUGH THURSDAY ONLY, and then it will be gone forever!

Dear Balloon Boy,

Sorry about––Well, we’re sorry about everything. Your dad kind of seems like a d-bag. I mean, he named you Falcon. And while that works perfectly as a badass A-Team-worthy moniker, we doubt it’s done you any favors, socially speaking, at school.

We’re not mad at you, Falcon. You getting trapped in a balloon is almost cooly futuristic. Oh, that’s right, you didn’t actually fly in that balloon. But you’re a good kid, and although your recent experience reads more like a super-villian origin story than a childhood success story, we think you’re going to be just fine. Next time your dad tries to make you hide in the attic so that he can get on the E! Channel, show him the score:

Dad – 0 New reality TV deals
Son – 1 Awesome T-shirt

LOLMart t-shirts are priced at only $15 (that includes FREE US ground shipping!) and make the perfect gift for a friend (or for yourself).