I know that American Apparel likes to mine their workforce for models to use in their ad campaigns, but if this is what they’re coming up with these days, I think it’s time to finally call an agency.
You know what? People who are into fetish wear have to go grocery shopping just like the rest of us. BONUS: If she’s standing near the produce when those little sprinklers come on, she’s already wearing waterproof clothes!
For those of you who were wondering how to safely transition from short shorts to a proper Speedo without severely sunburning the virgin skin surrounding your private business, here you go.
What? You weren’t wondering that? Fine. More tan-thru nut-huggers for the rest of us. See you on the beach, nerds.
Devastated by the loss of her job at Dress Barn, Suzanne began hanging out at the Salvation Army all day, pretending to work there. “Let me know if I can get that for you in a different size,” she’d offer customer after customer. No one had the heart to tell her that old VHS tapes only come in one size.
Georg von Feierabend and his girlfriend Baroness Schnitzel arrive at the gala. As usual, she is thoroughly disgusted with his selection of neckwear and doesn’t care who knows it.
Ultraviolet rays claim another victim. Listen folks: just like you don’t start skiing on the double–black diamond slope and don’t start breakfast with a double-shot of tequila (try easing into it with a mimosa!), you don’t start your first day in a Speedo with a double-shift of sunbathing. Easy does it!