I know that American Apparel likes to mine their workforce for models to use in their ad campaigns, but if this is what they’re coming up with these days, I think it’s time to finally call an agency.
Tags archives: station-identification
You Know What, Speedo Corporation? You Too.
Dear Steve Jobs,
Send me one million dollars in small, unmarked bills, or I leave the house wearing this.
Sincerely,
Claude
Paper or Plastic Clothes?
You know what? People who are into fetish wear have to go grocery shopping just like the rest of us. BONUS: If she’s standing near the produce when those little sprinklers come on, she’s already wearing waterproof clothes!
Hey, How Else is He Supposed to Show Off His Butt Tats?
I’m glad to see that the DIY spirit alive and well.
Except in all the ways that I’m not.
Now WHERE Did I Put My Sarong?
For those of you who were wondering how to safely transition from short shorts to a proper Speedo without severely sunburning the virgin skin surrounding your private business, here you go.
What? You weren’t wondering that? Fine. More tan-thru nut-huggers for the rest of us. See you on the beach, nerds.
Looks Like Casual Friday to Me
Protip: if you’re going to wear metallic pumps during the day, it makes sense to tone them down with some sensible khakis and a casual t-shirt.
I don’t know about the short black gloves though. A little too Like-a-Virgin for daywear.
Was Anyone Helping You with This Purchase?
Devastated by the loss of her job at Dress Barn, Suzanne began hanging out at the Salvation Army all day, pretending to work there. “Let me know if I can get that for you in a different size,” she’d offer customer after customer. No one had the heart to tell her that old VHS tapes only come in one size.
Sometimes She Thinks He Enjoys Torturing Her So
Georg von Feierabend and his girlfriend Baroness Schnitzel arrive at the gala. As usual, she is thoroughly disgusted with his selection of neckwear and doesn’t care who knows it.
Not for Beginners
Ultraviolet rays claim another victim. Listen folks: just like you don’t start skiing on the double–black diamond slope and don’t start breakfast with a double-shot of tequila (try easing into it with a mimosa!), you don’t start your first day in a Speedo with a double-shift of sunbathing. Easy does it!
Trust Me
The off-Broadway production of Fantasia is not worth the price of admission.